Compliments of Your Waitress

The day drags on and stumbles
I’m far too tired to smile
From the kitchen to the tables
I must’ve walked a thousand miles
The man at table number seven
He’s not where he wanted to be
He’s far too tired, or he’s just been fired,
So he takes it all out on me
Takes it all out on me

Pretty young couple in the corner
With much too much to say
They don’t like a thing that I bring them,
And they send it all away
They look in my eyes when I apologise
Say they want it all for free
They’ve got the guilt of easy money,
and they take it all out on me
Take it all out on me

The dignity of labour
It never rang true to me
Where’s the pride in the nine to five
And the crook of the bended knee?
And a man wants my telephone number
So drunk he can hardly see
And I know in the haze of rejection
That he’ll take it all out on me
Take it all out on me

So take advice from a girl who knows
The next time you complain
There’s a hallway from the kitchen
Where I know I can’t be seen
That’s where I flavour the food I bring you:
Your steaks and your soups and your stew
Compliments of your waitress
I can take it all out on you
Take it all out on you.

“I went out to dinner last night to a place I’ve gone hundreds of times, and I ordered a salad that I’ve ordered many times before. The salad wasn’t as good as it’s been in the past: the lettuce was old, and the dressing was watery. When the waitress asked her usual question, ‘How is everything?,’ I politely told her the truth. Her reaction is one that I’ve seen many times in interactions between service people and customers. She responded as if I had said something entirely inappropriate, and she acted like she wanted to get away from me as fast as possible. Of course, that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. The waitress is supposed to focus on the customer, listen carefully, make apologies, discuss what should be done about the problem, and perhaps offer alternatives. The waitress should bring the incident to the attention of her manager and the appropriate chef. Then the waitress is supposed to remember the incident for at least the duration of the meal, make an apology again at the end of the meal, and perhaps (depending on the incident and the restaurant) offer some form of compensation at the end: maybe a free dessert or a reduction in the bill.”
(from ‘I.T. Lessons from a Waitress’ by Harwell Thrasher).